Meatwad: Boy, this IS a long story you know...maybe I WILL go get somethin' to eat.
Carl: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen to ya.
Cybernetic Ghost: I’m not finished.. YOU should have gotten a snack! A warlike race of elves from the red planet landed on the ice encased earth and they were imminently enslaved by the un-evolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys. Using galactic elfin technology toys were made into recognizable shapes, and given names like “train”, but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon, because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked . . . in a big way! Thousands of years ago the ice had made the globe inhabitable. Santa Ape did not know where the north pole was, how could he? He was born before science existed. So he arbitrary placed his work shop right here were your house is now!, long before they unionized and Christmas was celebrated at each full moon, which enraged the red ape…
Frylock: Wait, who unionized?
Cybernetic Ghost: WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW! Probably your momma.